Dogs

Sometimes I wish I was a dog. Dogs do not harbor ill will. Of course backed in a corner or abused they can turn on you and may bite you. Even then the minute you show them some love you could see in their eyes that's really all they want. Yes there are some dogs that bite regardless of how well you treat them. Some dogs are dicks. If you think about it though the population of dogs that fall into this category are probably like 1 dick dog in 1000 cool dogs.

Dogs are some of the most loyal creatures on the planet. When I come home, no matter what time of day, my dogs are there to greet me, tongue and tail wagging feverishly. They are even more happy to see The Chosen One for some reason.

Lets say there was a workforce of dogs. I mean like dogs in the work place that understood English and could communicate back to us. For a minute let's believe that dogs are our equals. They work along side of us. They are asked to accomplish the same tasks as we do. We need their assistance and they need ours.

Hypothetically speaking of course, a dog may even be your boss. Imagine being in some sort of work environment and having a dog ask you to carry out some job. He, or if the dog is a female, "the bitch" (female dog), is your boss and if you like working there you need to do it. Either way you carry it out to the fullest extent.

We have created a job place where two species are not only coexisting but they are getting shit done.

One question that has to be raised is does a dog's loyalty change any because they are our equals? Do they use this newfound equal footing as a mechanism to propel them above us? Do they try to better themselves and "get ahead in life" or do they exhibit the same loyalty they have since they were domesticated 1000's of years ago?

We as humans will do whatever it takes to get what we want. Some will claw, scratch or fuck their way to whatever goal it is they seek. Colleagues will not think twice to go behind someone else's back to get what they want. "As long as I get mine, as long as I am taking care of, I don't give a fuck who gets hurt, shit on, stepped on in the back in the process." In the workforce a human's loyalty has no chance against a dog's loyalty.

I want to work with dogs.

Working with dogs would be the cat's pajamas. There would be no back stabbing. There would be no worrying about what was being said behind your back. We would not be in the rat race we are today. It would be man working next to "man's best friend."

There are definitely pro's and con's to working with dogs. I'm willing to work through our differences. For instance, in the "real" workplace I don't have to worry about the guy next to me licking his balls for an hour straight. The water fountain is much nicer to drink out of without dog slobber all over it. I know now I don't have to clean someone else's poop up. People know how to use indoor plumbing, dogs don't. But if we could teach a dog to poop in the toilet, or when the red lipstick comes out, we can tell him..."Not cool Rufus! Put it away...it's gross!" and if it went away great, if not I would have to learn to deal with it.

So from now on I am in search for the job that works with dogs and only dogs. I am tired of working with snakes!