Day Zero....

Alright this is my first shot at this blogging thing. I am a normal dude that's married to a great woman. We have two daughters and we are trying our best to raise them the right way. I love my wife dearly. She puts up with all my nonsense. She lets me be me with no questions asked. I love my girls. They think I am "the coolest dad ever." I think I may be. We have two dogs that are also female. My life is filled with estrogen and ovaries. My life is the end of the romantic comedy that you don't experience while watching Julia Roberts and Richard Gere hook up. It is what would happen after they were together for 11 years. Do not get me wrong by reading too much into that last statement. I do love my wife. If it was not for her I would not be me, and I would be somewhere else not being able to do what I do.  

I enjoy sports, video games, movies about the end of the world, hanging with friends and binge drinking. I love zombies and nuclear explosions...on TV of course. As I stated before I am a normal 35 year old bald man that acts and thinks like a 14 year old. If it wasn't for my wife I'd be broke, living with my mom, upside down on my car(s), still bald with every piece of technology known to man. Let's face it, I want to be 14 again. There is no other reason to be 14 again other than living on easy street. 

I have friends all the same age. They seem older than me. They seem more mature than I am. They seem like they are adults with adult problems. Me? I leave any problem up to the wife. I don't worry about shit. Perfect example, I am all even on my car. No payments. One would think that's awesome. To me that is a reason to go spend $400 a month. I am literally dying to find a car to buy. I have researched all makes and models much to the dismay of any car salesman in a 25 mile radius. Seriously these dudes are pissed off and basically telling me to "stop making me run in circles to get a deal done, either you're going to buy or not." That's an honest quote from a salesman I have been dealing with for three weeks now. In today's economy this guy told me thanks, but no thanks. 

I live in a very nice neighborhood in North Carolina. Our neighbors consist of business professionals, college professors, doctors and lawyers. I chose a career in teaching, specializing in P.E. or gym. My subject area is the only one that's named after a building (hallway was filled up at the time of registration). How easy is that? People ask all the time if college was needed to do this. If they ask, my response is "No all I had to do was hit seven of ten free throws during the interview."  

This is my life, a life of immaturity and irresponsibility, a life lived looking forward to Friday and Saturday so I can over indulge in adult beverages and make horrible comments that I do not regret. In this blog you will find a "fourteen-year-old's" take on anything and everything.